Tuesday, January 18, 2011-Saturday, January 29, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011
"The weather's very...brickish."
                    -Victoria C.
"If the rooms sets on fire, and you could only save 10 kids, who would you save?"
                    -Matt M.
"If you're dyslexic and cross-eyed, can you read straight?"
                    -Matt M.
"If you're fat, can you go skinny-dipping?"
                    -Cole T.
"What if they were organic...non-fried...free range potato chips?"
                    -Brian J.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
"Is it possible to have two y-intercepts?"
"Anything's possible."
                    -Ms. Steadman & Corey P.
"I'm going to speak in brail."
                    -Aaron L.
"That's horrible...I do it all the time."
                    -Brighton K.
"Is there a derogatory article as to why red meat is hazardous to a lacto-ovo-vegetarian predicament?"
                    -Mitchel G.
"So you have 10 minutes left."
"Or my pizza's free."
                    -Mrs.Tanaka & Cody F.
"There's is so much better, but that's because they have girls in their group."
                    -Andrew K.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
"It takes 10 minutes to get up there."
"But it's, like, right across the-"
Shhhhhh!"
                    -Cody F. & Chandler D.
"I understand."
"EXCUSES!"
                    -Josh G. & Ms. Steadman
"Do you want me to help her?"
"She doesn't want wrong answers."
                    -Ashton B. & Isaac S.
"You're so shellfish!"
"You're so shrimpy!"
                    -Leah S. & Brighton K.
"You're probably not going to be running around outside, biting wild squirrels."
                    -Mrs.Tanaka
"They were from Mexico City, so half of the people at the wedding were-"
"Illegal?"
                    -Mrs. Tanaka & Cody F.
Friday, January 21, 2011
"Don't you hate it when your but gets stuck in your pants?"
"No,  I don't have pants that big."
                    -Brighton K. & Leah S.
Yes. I'm a cow. MOO."
                    -Brighton K.
Monday, January 24, 2011
"Someone rubbed peanut butter on my face, and I died."
                    -Brighton K.
"Go [to the bathroom] in your next class."
"No, there are computers in there and I don't want them to get wet."
                    -Brook J. & Leah S.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"You don't say someone's caliente, they're guapo."
"Unless they have a fever."
                    -Mrs. Bilbao & Cody F.
"My username is 'Hardcore Thug' and my password is 'unicorn'."
                    -Cody F.
"My coloring skills are off the charts."
                    -Cody F.
"You could sell [my spit] on eBay for 20 bucks."
                    -Cody F.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
"Did you get another haircut?"
"Yeah, I like talking to the people at Great Clips."
                    -Lauren P. & Calvin K.
"Oh, Calvin's here, I'm definitely joining."
                    -Chaz W.
"This [song] is 'Death Upon A Sidewalk' by Sorrow and Passion."
"...this is Jack Johnson."
                    -Calvin K. & Brook J.
"I drop no eaves, sir."
                    -Cody F.
"El es un...hipster."
                    -Brighton K.
"Wy do Americans suck so bad?"
                    -Katie K.
"But she punched me in the face...with a porcupine."
                    -Calvin K.
"What is a drug?"
"Any substance-"
"Of course HE knows about drugs."
                    -Mrs. Watkins, Alex W. & Brighton K.
"I'm gonna take P.E. online."
"Look how much exercise my avatar is getting."
                    -Brighton K. & Clay H.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
"Sorry the class was rushed. We had to get through grammar. Also, my belt buckle broke."
                    -Mr.Ritchie
"Ambulances have head lights."
"Ambalances have head lice?"
                    -Brook J. & Leah S.
"Brook is always the one with the good smells."
                    -Brighton K.
"Why'd you guys get quiet?"
"Because you said hockey."
"Hey! I stand behind hockey."
"And what are you doing to hockey?"
                    -Mrs. Tanaka,  Matt M, Jonathan L. & Cody F.
Friday, January 29, 2011
"Does it feel like we're missing someone? Like, the teacher?"
                    -Brighton K
"Is it just me, or are there loofas falling from the ceiling?"
                    -Brighton K.
"That's what I do at my parties. We don't drink, we have crumpets."
                    -Mitchell G.
"I wish there was mouth sanitizer or something."
"Mouthwash?"
                    -Brighton K. & Brook J.
"What are you looking at me for?"
"I don't know, why AM I looking at you?"
"'Cause I'm a 'G'."
                    -Daniel G. & Mrs.Watkins
"I don't have an ideal understanding of this article. Do you mind articulating a more high quality summeration of this outline you are showcasing?"
Saturday, January 29, 2011
"I love summer because everyone looks Asian."
                    -Anna D.

Monday, November 8, 2010-Friday, January 14, 2011

Monday, November 8, 2010
"That's some ghetto underwear right there. Light blue?"
                    -Calvin K.
"I'm not humming, I'm singing with my mouth closed."
                    -Devin S.
"Last year, for Thanksgiving, I had a turkey Hot Pocket."
                    -Justin J.
"Miami? That sounds like a type of Chinese food."
                    -Quinton J.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
"[Whit?]"
"Yeeeaaaah, booooooy!"
"Was that a yes?"
"Yes...in ebonics form."
                    -Mr. Berry & Whit G.
"What does your country produce?"
"Uhhhhhh..."
"PLEAD THE FIFTH!"
                    -Mr. Berry, Hayes D., and Whit G.
"If the US military is an XL t-shirt, [Iceland] is a Medium."
                    -Seth M.
"You don't eat bugs?"
                    -Quinton J.
"That's old news, update your sources."
"Update your Muslim population!"
"What does that even mean?"
                    -Jeanne D., Cole T., and Mr. Berry
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
"He plays tennis, he enjoys classic rock, he aspires to be an astronaut, and he loves Harry Potter. He's my imaginary boyfriend."
                    -Jeanne D.
"Nice poem. Who'd you copy?"
                    -Jay S.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"What was your sickness?"
"Black Ops."
                    -Jay S. & Davis N.
"I have problems with touching people."
                    -Coleman G.
Friday, November 12, 2010
"We lost our German."
                    -Calvin K.
"The German exchange student knew, like, sixty digits of Pi. What are they feeding those kids over there?"
                    -Jeanne Davis
"My sister's nine."
"SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS EIGHTEEN!"
                    -Bret D. & Chase B.
"I love you and all but sometimes I wanna bash your face in."
"I feel the same way about myself."
                    -Brighton K. & Calvin K.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
"Luke needs another-"
"Girlfriend!"
"...Jedi master."
                    -Josh G. & Jarrod A.
"He just cussed me out in Jew!"
                    -Darius W.
"Someone told me I have the voice of a stripper."
                    -Morgan T.
"Robert is short for Samuel."
                    -Matt M.
"I'm an upperclassmen, I will trashcan you in a heart beat."
                    -Sam M.
"I'm going hunting. I'm gonna have me a Bambi burger."
                    -Sam M.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
"[My email's] hugsRfree...with a big 'R'."
                    -Guy C.
"Chase doesn't like Waffle House so he doesn't count."
                    -Matt M.
"What goes on in your head?"
"Sex with policemen."
                    -Quinton J. & Guy C.
"You have really small eyes."
"I have an eye disease. After 7 o'clock my eyes kind of shrink."
                    -Sofi M. & Calvin K.
"I need to stop talking around Brook. By the time I'm twenty, she's gonna have enough stuff on me to put me in jail for four years."
                    -Calvin K.
"He's so dreamy with his ginger self."
                    -Calvin Kennedy
"Because I am perfectly capable of texting girls."
                    -Robin S.
"Why's he called Spongebob Squarepants if he's square and his pants are rectangular?"
                    -Calvin K.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
"If you had a brain, it'd be dangerous."
                    -Mr. Gluck
"Is your television in English?"
"It's in Ebonics."
                    -Bret D. & Will N.
"If you type in 'how to' on Google, the first thing that comes up is: how to be a prostitute."
"You don't have any of those characteristics, so you're okay."
                    -Kyle S. & Mr. Gluck
Friday, November 19, 2010
"Jeanne temporarily hates me until 8 o'clock."
                    -Brook J.
"It's PG-13."
"Oh, I can only watch rated R movies."
                    -Mr.Berry & Andre W.
"It's not nice to rape people."
                    -Brighton K.
"Do I look like a stripper?"
"...not today."
                    -Morgan T. & Brook J.
"Get your hands off of me."
"Sorry, I need something to touch."
                    -Samuel A. & Kyle S.
"How do you not like reggae music? YOU'RE BLACK!"
"I'm caramel."
                    -Quinton J. & Justin J.
"Victoria and I produced a box baby."
                    -Robin S.
Monday, November 22, 2010
"Do you have a facebook?"
"What's a facebook? Is it something I can buy at Barnes & Noble?"
                    -Andre W. & Mr.Berry
"If you press Alt+4, it'll finish your paper for you."
                    -Quinton J.
"I've decided that my patronus is Agent P."
                    -Jeanne D.
"Guy got a haircut."
"...he looks like a lesbian."
                    -Quinton J. & Matt M.
"Bret is the Jewish version of Godzilla."
                    -Darius W.
"I take pride in my work, so I'm not done yet."
"Why do you always take so long?"
"Because art can't be rushed!"
                    -Guy C. & Quinton J.
"In 5th grade, my dad asked my why I hadn't made out with any boys."
                    -Ali A.
"I took karate with [Jaden Smith], and Jackie Chan was my teacher."
"Yeah? Well I swam a lap with the red fish and the blue fish."
                    -Chase B. & Guy C.
"I want to have Christmas with narwhals."
                    -Brook J.
"I'm occasionally  dyslexic, I'm occasionally OCD, and I'm occasionally dyslexic...I just occasionally have problems."
                    -Brook Joyner
"Are you going to marry a hispanic woman?"
"More or less."
                    -Mrs. Adams & Justin J.
"i'm one of my favorite people."
                    -Brook Joyner
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
"Dr.Pepper has 23 flavors."
"Like cupcake!"
                    -Nelson E. & Johnathan L.
"I'm smooth like sand paper."
                    -Victoria C.
"I don't flutter."
                    -Ben Dawson
"BOB SAGET, WOMAN! GIVE ME THE AGENDA!"
                    -Devin S.
"The History Channel canceled Nerds' Night Out, and now I'm depressed!"
                    -Ali A.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
"I'm calling the mothership."
                    -Lauren J.
Monday, November 29, 2010
"I got assaulted by a ninja yesterday."
                    -Alex S.
"That song had the 'N' word in it, and I'm personally offended. I think the only way to settle this in court."
                    -Whit G.
"Dude, Mrs.Bussert is an Aries!"
                    -Guy C.
"Have a heart."
"Yeah, buy one on eBay or something."
                    - Quinton J. & Guy C.
"My breath is so fresh. Someone should definitely make out with me."
                    -Sofi M.
"Tell me something interesting [about your Thanksgiving.]"
"I wore pants."
                    -Mrs.Bilbao & Justin J.
Tuesday, november 30, 2010
"Kwanza parties are probably off the hook."
                    -Jeanne D.
"I tried to sell poinsettias to my Jewish neighbors."
                    -Brook Joyner
"You're grandma's a teenager?"
"Probably, that would explain why she's so messed up."
                    -Morgan T. & Corey P.
"Is this your life, or an episode of desperate Housewives?
                    -Morgan T.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
"I'm learning how to read for Lit next semester."
"He's also learning how to add for math."
                    -Calvin K. & Victoria C.
"Guys, it's Christmas!"
                    -Jay S.
"Are you talking about Corey?"
"Yeah, he thinks the snow is dangerous."
                    -Anna D. & Ali A.
"Tell mw a topic you are interested in researching."
"Giraffes."
                    -Mr. Showfety & Guy C.
"I told you, dragons are real!"
                    -Chase B.
"Of all things you (Guy C.) believe in, you think narwhals are fake?"
                    -Quinton J.
"Dogs have X-ray vision."
"Yeah, they look into your soul."
                    -Quinton J. & Guy C.
"...I just spelled my name wrong."
                    -Maddie Dill
Thursday, December 2, 2010
"When you die, I'm drawing a mustache on you."
                    -Morgan T.
"Can you one-hand clap?"
                    -Bret D.
"Can I go outside and study?"
"No."
"Is that a yes?"
                    -Rachel S. & Mr. Showfety
"Every time I try to steal from poor people, the girls yell at me."
                    -Calvin K.
"They told me not to take the pill."
                    -Calvin Kennedy
Friday, December 3, 2010
"I'm not gonna answer that question, but yes."
                    -Jeanne Davis
"How are you not Jewish?"
                    -Jarrod A.
"I frolic in quarries."
                    -Jeanne D.
Monday, December 6, 2010
"I feel like Jack Frost raped me."
                    -Devin S.
"If you see grown ups in suits come into the classroom, what do you do?"
"High-five them."
                    -Ms.Roehsler & Johnathan L.
"Do you swear on the Geography book to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
                    -Whit G.
"Why we are 21st cenetury learners."
"Dude, you spelled century wrong."
                    -Samuel A. & Kyle S.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt your nap. Squirrels only get much sleep."
                    -Jay S.
Oh, [you said] president? I thought you said cousin."
"What's the difference?"
                    -Jeanne D. & Whit G.
"Because [the Tutsis] are cockroaches."
"Like, physical cockroaches?"
                    -Naomi T. & Whit G.
"Help, I'm dying!"
"Call the Bertschis."
"Help, I'm lost in the middle of the street!"
"Call the Bertschis."
"Help, I forgot to put on a bra this morning!"
"Call the Bertschis."
                    -Ali A. & her parents
"YOU ATE THEM! YOU ATE THEM ALL!"
                    -Jeanne D.
"The only response is there's an app for that."
                    -Guy C.
"I HATE THE WORLD AND EVERYONE IN IT! Just kidding. Joke. I just forgot my locker combo.
                    -Hayley J.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"Testing people get the good swag."
                    -Ms. Roehsler
"Brook! I'm in [the quotes book] FOURTEEN TIMES!
                    -Jeanne Davis
"I fell asleep in my breakfast this morning."
                    -Brook Joyner
"I didn't have my post-breakfast Coke this morning."
                    -Calvin K.
"I run well when I'm sexy."
                    -Rachel S.
Thusrday, December 9, 2010
"Michael, YOU'RE NOT BLACK?!?"
                    -Jordan R.
"I have no life. It's cool. It's okay."
                    -Mr. Berry
"Was 'That 70's Show' in the 80's?"
                    -Rachel S.
"Bret, you're such a hippie!"
                    -Guy C.
"A wise man...named Kanye West once said..."
                    -Mr.Berry
"He's a football coach, he will EAT you."
                    -Bret D.
"Ferris Bueller's my dad's uncle's cousin...from Russia."
                    -Bret D.
"Israel is the birthplace of Jew."
                    -Rebecca F.
"What's your favorite verb in the alphabet?"
                    -Lauren J.
Friday, December 10, 2010
"I just rambled on about how we're all innocent babies."
                    -Brook J.
"I want to travel the wold in a hot air balloon...LIKE MADELINE!"
                    -Jeanne D.
"Alien abduction...that's just my humble theory."
                    -Jeanne D.
"My dog's gay."
"Of course, OF COURSE! The world makes sense now."
                    -Ali A. & Matt M.
Monday, December 13, 2010
"You're late."
"There was a baby on the side of the road!"
                    -Ms. Roehsler & Jeanne D.
"I'm gonna be a parachute tester."
                    -Jeanne D.
"Who can tell me something about Shakespeare?"
"He was a nice fish."
                    -Ms. Roehsler & Taylor Haas
"That's a manbearpig."
                    -Jarrod A.
"She make me feel like a monkey."
                    -Brook J.
"If I lost my middle finger, I'd cry."
                    -Morgan T.
"Dude, you're initials are QT!"
"Quinton Johnson?"
                    -Guy C. & Quinton J.
"I hate that song."
"That song hates you."
                    -Chase B. & Guy C.
"What's the Heisman trophy?"
                    -Mike G.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
"I don't have problems, I am one."
                    -Calvin K.
"It'd be fun to blow up."
                    -Calvin K.
"What poetic form is Romeo and Juliet?"
"Shakespearean sonnet."
"Iambic Pentameter."
"DVD."
                    -Ms. Roehsler, Claire G, Jeanne D., Devin S.
"Aren't Romeo and Juliet afraid of cooties?"
                    -Jeanne D.
"That smell reminds me of preschool."
                    -Brook J.
"Whenever I eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I black out."
                    -whit G.
"Do you have any perfume? I smell like an embalmed frog."
                    -Naomi T.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
"Doesn't this [smiley] bracelet make you feel happy like you're on crack or something?"
"I always feel happy like I'm on crack...or something."
                    -Brighton K. & Calvin K.
"NO! YOU'RE JEWISH, GO AWAY!"
                    -Anna K.
"I wanna get a tramp stamp, because my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard."
                    -Calvin K.
"What should their team name be?"
"Team Aqua Hunger Force!"
                    -Mr. Berry & Whit G.
"I'm tele-pathetic."
                    -Brighton Kamen
Thursday, December 16, 2010
"Who steals band-aids?"
                    -Jeanne Davis
"He was using the power of his imagination."
                    -Cole T.
"How do you know how to talk like an old person?"
                    -Jenna B.
"How old was Juliet?"
"Thirteen."
"She got jiggy with it at thirteen?"
                    -Ms. Roehsler, Claire G., Davis N.
"I didn't thrown it, I lightly tossed it."
                    -Ben Dawson
"Shut the front door!"
                    -Ms. Roehsler
"Dear old friend, you brilliant child-SHUT UP!"
                    -Ben D.
"It was [from] the scene where they started making out, right?"
"Exactly."
                    -Alex S. & Ms.Roehsler
"Pretend you're in an enemy prison-"
"no one tells me what to do."
                    -Ms. Roehsler & Matt M.
"BE QUIET! Matt, did you have a question?"
"Nevermind."
                    -Ms.Roehsler & Matt M.
Friday, December 17, 2011
"I'm that guy on the soccer team."
"Whit, you can't even run back and forth."
                    -Whit G. & Matt M.
"Whit, switch with Matt."
"What's that supposed to mean? Is that a fat joke?"
                    -Mr. Berry & Whit G.
"Who volunteers to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz so I can beat you up?"
                    -Jeanne D.
"I didn't know Sharpie's had dating issues."
                    -Brook J.
"He can swim eight laps underwater."
"I can swim two, what's the big deal?"
                    -Unknown & Whit G.
"I don't have an eraser."
"So don't make any mistakes."
                    -Whit G. & Mr.Berry
"Act your age, not your shoe size."
                    -Matt M.
"Are there going to be any questions about cell reproduction on the [World Geography] test?"
                    -Whit G.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
"I know how to lose a guy in 10 days."
                    -Calvin K.
"I have an announcement!"
"You're gay?"
                    -Calvin K. & Savanna D.
"Stop rubbing [Victoria's leg], that's Calvin's job...oh crap! He's right there!"
                    -Jeanne D.
"I don't know him but stranger danger! Woo hoo!
                    -Calvin K.
"I'm a communist, but only on Wednesdays."
"It's Wednesday."
                    -Calvin K. & Victoria C.
"We were mating."
"Oh, okay."
                    -Calvin K. & Brook J.
"There are jews in the refrigerator?"
                    -Calvin K.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
"I can't imagine tutoring anyone in anything, except for swagger."
                    -Calvin K.
"Every time I hear a white person say swagger, I die a little inside."
                    -Brighton K.
"What are my weaknesses?"
"Cupcakes."
                    -Mrs. Tanaka & Matt M.
"I would like to meet Mel Gibson, he's fantastic."
                    -Matt M.
"I would like to meet Morgan Freeman , you know, 'cause he plays God and stuff."
                    -Katie K.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
"you eat live fish?"
"No, but Gollum does."
                    -Mrs. Bilbao & Cody F.
"Do you know what [the cafeteria] cooks that [chicken] in?...I'm not gonna tell you."
                    -Ms. Watkins
"Brook's a ninja gum chewer."
                    -Brighton K.
"Yay for drugs, they make everything sunshiney."
                    -Brighton K.
"Your son stuck a shark to my wall."
                    -Mrs. Tanaka
"He failed because he ate the experiment."
                    -Mrs.Tanaka
"Noah will read."
"What a cutie."
                    -Mrs. Tanaka & Cody F.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
"I have an ear infection, a sore throat and bronchitis."
"Vas a tu casa, adios!"
                    -Ms.Rojo & Cody F.
"My alarm gave me the finger this morning."
                    -Brighton K.
"I can never eat tea."
                    -Leah Schmaltz
"You have to laugh, or life sucks."
                    -Cody F.
"I can talk for you, I can talk all day."
                    -Cody F
"What's your zodiac sign?"
"Pisces."
                    -Matt M. & Mrs. Tanaka
Friday, January 7, 2011
"I'm the girl."
                    -Calvin Kennedy
"Andrew, I know you're white, but can you walk faster?"
                    -Justin J.
"She doesn't I love myself."
                    -Brighton Kamen
"What's so funny? I'm not a comedian."
                    -Alex W.
"They drink deodorant...can I have a tissue?"
                    -Alex W.
"If you scraped up all the gum off the bottom of the desks, it would make...like a giant...potato."
"That would make sense, except for the fact that it didn't."
                    -Leah S. & Brook J.
"A rock is non-living because it doesn't move."
"What if it's rolling down a hill?"
"Uh-oh, now it's alive."
                    -Unknown, Mrs.Tanaka & Max W.
"James/Cole?"
"His name's Jesus."
                    -Mrs.Tanaka & class
"Why are bacteria non-living?"
"Because it starts with a 'B'."
                    -Mrs.Tanaka & Matt M.
Friday, January 14, 2011
"How's that banana?"
"...yellow."
                    -Terry J. & Brook J.